Thursday, March 27, 2008

Signs of the Apocalypse: Part 1 - Cap'n Crunch Shake

We all see things that make us question the ability of the human race to continue to thrive. From politicians to wars to the latest debutard being promoted as a "role model", is it any wonder that more people aren't ready to go over the edge? The world of food also has it's share of "what the hell were they thinking" moments. I had one of those moments yesterday when I drove past a Carl's Junior.

Carl's Junior is already a place I avoid just because of their commercials. Watching people try to cram a huge, oozing burger in to their mouths while making as much noise as possible as stuff slops all over their clothes isn't something I find appealing. Their slogan, as far as I'm concerned, may as well be "Carl's Junior, the restaurant for disgusting slobs." Knowing my feelings about this place, it would not surprise you that I generally ignore them as I drive by. But yesterday I happened to accidentally glance at their billboard, and what I saw was so shocking that I almost ran in to the curb as I read it.

"Now Serving Cap'n Crunch Shakes!"

WTF?

What sick, twisted weirdo decided to combine one of the most sugar ladened cereals on the planet with a frozen blob of sugar ladened over-processed milk? Was there a public outcry for such a product? Is this really something that should be served to children without a doctors note and a parental release form?

A check online for the ingredients and "nutrition" information showed the Cap'n Crunch shake to be even more toxic than I thought it could possibly be...

Shakes: Lady Kemp Vanilla Slow Melt Ice Cream: Milkfat and nonfat milk, sugar, corn syrup, mono and diglycerides, natural flavors, locust bean gum, cellulose gum, carrageenan, annatto (vegetable color).
Syrup, Vanilla
Corn sweeteners (high fructose and corn syrups), water, propylene glycol, potassium sorbate as a preservative, caramel color, and artificial flavor.
Foster Farm's 1% Milk
Land O Lakes Whipped Topping
Water, partially hydrogenated palm kernel oil, sugar, contains less than 2% of each of the following: sodium caseinate (a milk derivative), polysorbate 60, mono and diglycerides, soy protein isolate, artificial flavor, sorbitan monostearate, disodium phosphate, hexaglyceryl distearate, carrageenan, beta carotene (color), propellant: nitrous oxide.
Captain Crunch
Corn Flour, Sugar, Oat Flour, Brown Sugar, Coconut Oil, Salt, Sodium Citrate, Nonfat Dry Milk, Whey, Partially Hydrogenated Soybean Oil Adds a Dietarily Insignificant Amount of Trans Fat, Natural and Artificial Flavors, Strawberry Juice Concentrate, Malic Acid, Niacinamide One of the B Vitamins, Reduced Iron, Zinc Oxide, Yellow 5, Red 40, Mono and Diglycerides, Yellow 6, Blue 1, Thiamin Mononitrate One of the B Vitamins, Pyridoxine Hydrochloride One of the B Vitamins, BHT a Preservative, Riboflavin One of the B Vitamins, Folic Acid One of the B Vitamins

These items combined give you a shake with 740 calories, 35 grams of fat, 24 grams of saturated fat, 100 mg of cholesterol, 320mg sodium, 94 grams of carbs, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 79 grams of sugar, and 15 grams of protein.

94 grams of carbs is the equivalent of eating almost 1/2 cup of pure sugar with a spoon. The ironic thing is that the OREO COOKIE shake also offered by Carl's Jr. has FEWER carbohydrates. Yes people, the shake based on COOKIES has less sugar than the shake based on a BREAKFAST CEREAL.

Why is it so hot and what am I doing in this hand basket?

2 comments:

Irene said...

If you think that's crazy - we have a place called "Cereality" where you can get all kinds of cereal made into smoothies and if you want to eat all marshmallows from Lucky Charms - you can go for it!

TJ said...

I used to eat Capn Crunch as a kid. One day (while I was a kid), I looked at the ingredients in the cereal and asked my parents what they meant. I guess they decided any time you have that many weird ingredients in a cereal, it's time to regroup. My kids have never had it.

But there is a market ripe for folks who like me, liked the cereal, but never took the time to find out exactly what was in it.