Thursday, March 6, 2008

God Hates Carbs

As the debate rages over whether we should eat low carb with plenty of fat or low fat with plenty of carbs, people look to different experts and authorities to help them decide. There are plenty of doctors, nutritionists and other diet gurus to choose from, but who do you trust the most? Who is the highest authority? Well, how about God?

From Genesis... Abel was a keeper of sheep, and Cain a worker of the ground. In the course of time Cain brought to the Lord an offering of the fruit of the ground, and Abel also brought of the firstborn of his flock and of their fat portions. And the Lord had regard for Abel and his offering, but for Cain and his offering he had no regard. So Cain was very angry, and his face fell. The Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry, and why has your face fallen? If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door. Its desire is for you, but you must rule over it.”

So there you have it people. From the ultimate authority. Carbohydrates are not deserving of respect.

Of course, we all know what happened next. Cain, no doubt in a carbohydrate-fueled frenzy, lured his brother away to the fields and killed him. So, apparently, not only are carbohydrates considered undesirable by the Lord, they turn you in to a sneaky murderer. Next time a vegetarian offers to show you his crops...be very careful!


6 comments:

Captain Capitalist said...

Great point. If God wanted us to be vegetarians, he wouldn't have invented Worcestershire sauce.

OhYeahBabe said...

LMAO! 'The carbs made me do it!'

Mayberryfan said...

So, you're saying that Heidi wouldn't be such a creep if she wasn't on sugar-cookie induced rage all the time??

Good lord! No wonder that blue fuzzy guy is named "Cookie Monster"!

:P

Anonymous said...

So funny! Never heard that interpretation of the Cain/Abel story before...

laurie53089 said...

Having graduated from Bible college with a bachelor's in Theology, this was quite the humorous rendition. I will remember this......... :0

Captain Mikee said...

I just found this via a link from the GFCFNN Yahoo group. I love it!

Two books that touch on this subject:

Against the Grain by Richard Manning
Ishmael by Daniel Quinn