Thursday, December 4, 2008

Gingerbread houses are for wussies!

As part of a Christmas party I am attending on Saturday, there is going to be a gingerbread house contest. Not touching sugar and flour for over 18 months has been very good to me, so I really see no need to start now. While I do admit that sugar and flour are better used as a building material than a food source, there just has to be a better way.

Instead of walls made out of gingerbread, candy trim and peppermint wheel windows, I did think about baking sheets of low carb almond cookies and using sugar-free candies. It would have the appearance of a traditional gingerbread house, but lack the traditional toxic ingredients. The more I thought about it, the more lame it seemed. Why pay tribute to sugar and wheat addiction by making a pathetic imitation? Instead, I decided to pay the ultimate tribute to my low carb lifestyle and make my gingerbread house out of MEAT!

You got it! Sausage logs walls, beef jerky "shingles", circles of summer sausage and any other dried meat that will hold its form. For mortar, instead of frosting I will use cream cheese onion dip fortified with a little palm oil. Decorations and trim will be almond slivers, pecan, macadamia nuts and sunflower seeds. There wont be a single gumdrop, licorice whip, or peppermint anywhere near my masterpiece. I think this will be a fitting tribute to low carb living.

So far all I have is $30 worth of dried meat and several packs of cream cheese and a head full of ideas. Stay tuned to see if I can actually pull this off.


Former Donut Junkie said...

I am looking forward to pics of this "Meatatarian Masterpiece"!

Vikki said...

Fabulous! If the meat doesn't work there is always Cheese!..giggle
Good luck and most of all ENJOY!

Abigail said...

When do we get PICS???

Wifezilla said...

After I make it silly! :D

I already mixed up a batch of "mortar" made with cream cheese, dry onion soup mix and some palm oil for structure :D

Happy said...

Have you seen this?

PJ said...

You need this cartoon! :-)

Erasmus said...

Gelatin should make a fine window.

Block cheese would make the walls a snap. Of course for that log cabin look, Slim Jims would be perfect.